Maybe the thought of leaving home has not been removed from my head, since young. I really wna leave home someday. As in really. Im not just being some typical teenagers who wna leave home just because they had a tiff with their parents. I really dont like my home. If i really leave someday, there would be nothing i would miss, maybe only my computer.
My parents... are crap. Seriously. My parents always think that i do not know my own future, i am very proud cos i dont always like to talk to them, i do not know what i am doing. But PLEASE! Leaving your kid at home all by himself since young, going out to work everyday in the morning and coming back only at mid night. During school days its worse, i wake up before they do, i sleep before they even come back. Sometimes when teacher collects money, i have to wait a few days just to see my parents once to collect the money. With these, how am i suppose to feel attached to them? No chance of communication, thats why they often think they know me cos im their son, but wtheck, i dare to say they know nothing about me.
Even those friends who are close to me dont even know what kind of a person am I.
Since young, i have been doing most of the things by myself. Have not bothered my parents about anything, except things that involve money. If this world dont have such thing as money, i think i wont even talk to them. But maybe if there is no money, they wont have to work so much and neglect the kids. I seriously would rather have one family which is not economically well-off but relationship is tight. Rather than a family that is economically well-off but is not considered as a family. And come to think of it, even though my family is counted quite rich, i dont benefit from it. I dont buy clothes, thats why i always wear my brother clothes. I dont buy shoes, all my bball shoes are given by Singapore team. Things that are bought are from the money that i saved for weeks. All they do is save save save. They slog so hard for these money, but just to save. Then wtf? I dont understand. Because of these savings, our family dont look like a family. Is is worth it?
My parents often said that they are damn unlucky to have 2 horrible kids. To them, horrible is not liking to talk to them, playing computer all the time, not sleeping before 12, forget to unclock the toilet door, forget to off the Tv, not pressing the toothpaste from the bottom, dont like to eat vegetables when we are vegetarians... etc. But to me, i feel that they are very fortunate to have me and my brother. Since young, my parents are not always there to educate us. They are lucky that i have not been led astray by the company that i mix with at kembangan cc where i ball. Smoking, drinking, tattoo, steal, rob, snatch, rape, fights, gangs and drugs. Which of them am i invovled in? All i do is stay infront of the computer and yet they labelled me as " horrible ".
I asked them what wrong i'd done and they said that the only thing that they want is for me to talk to them nicely and more often. You know, i tried. I seriously tried before. But, when i crack jokes when im talking to them. They say that i have no respect for them. People who know me knows that im that kind of person who likes to joke. Okay then, nvm i dont joke with them, but then again, i have to be very careful about each and every single word that im gna say fearing that i might upset them again. This kinda conversation who will like. So slowly, i stopped talking to them.
When we quarrel, my mother always say, " Very fast one la, very fast you will grow up and be someone's father. Very fast one, very fast then you will know what it feels like to be a parent. Do you want your child to treat you like that? Talking to you with this kind of attitude? " I have been pondering over this matter for a long period of time. When i grow up, i definitely will not repeat my parents mistake, neglecting their kids. Definitely. I swear.
I wish that im an orphan. Father and mother is just a name.
Im just gna wait, wait till the time is ripe then im off. Away from this place which dont even mean anything to me.
By the way, im leaving for Australia tmr. Or maybe not...
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